[Sundaycommunity] Update on Mary Lou and Brian

Fri Dec 2 19:22:19 PST 2022

Your life has included community in many forms.  I believe you will be
surrounded by much comfort and caring, from any who have known you and
MaryLou.  Of course, nothing can ameliorate the shock of so much change, so
much loss.  The Holy Spirit can fill some of the empty spaces, where love
and friendship can't quite reach.  But you are now in the valley of the
shadow, not of death, but of great loss.  So the Lord will be with you, in
some way, and may peace enter sufficiently to make the journey possible.
Rosemary

On Fri, Dec 2, 2022 at 9:48 PM H. Burns via Sundaycommunity <
sundaycommunity at lists.integralshift.ca> wrote:

> Dear Brian,
>       Thank you so much for this update.
>        That it is your 55th wedding anniversary, given your current
> situation, is poignant. But it is certainly a testament to your love and
> commitment.  I am still moved by your words last Sunday: “We are friends,
> spouses, and lovers.”
>
>      As I have already written, I am not only saddened, but also shocked
> over Mary Lou’s deterioration since my conversation with her not too long
> ago in which she shared that, other than needing her wheel chair, she was
> doing well!
>
>      That she has agreed to go to long term care is a sign of her strength.
>
>      It is wonderful that you have such a huge, loving family that has
> been able to be physically present —esp. during these last
> days.
>
>      You have also been very much in my thoughts with much care as you
> also cope with the pain and isolation of Covid at this worst possible time.
>
>       Brian, if you need any assistance in preparing/leading the music
> during these days, (although doing so may be a needed distraction) I am
> very willing to do so alone or with others.
>
>      May your deep faith and courage and the love of so many sustain and
> comfort you on this journey.
>
>      I unite myself with our community in assuring you of our love and
> support and on-going prayers.
>
> In the peace of Christ,
> Helena
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> Sent from my iPhone
>
> On Dec 2, 2022, at 7:29 PM, Brian Halferty via Sundaycommunity <
> sundaycommunity at lists.integralshift.ca> wrote:
>
> 
> Hi fellow Sunday Community members,
>
> The past couple of weeks or so have been very difficult and painful for
> Mary Lou and I and our family.  I mentioned last Sunday that Mary Lou has
> been admitted to St. Michael's Hospital. She is still there and will remain
> there at least through the coming week.  She is a little calmer and more
> lucid generally than when she was admitted, but it is still a challenge for
> her to remain focused and connected to what's going on in the present
> moment.  She has been well-supported by our children, and their spouses,
> and their families.  Someone from the family has been with her non-stop
> since her admission, both day and night, up until this week.  The
> middle-of-the-night shift has been dropped the past 2 or 3 days because
> Mary Lou is now having more peaceful and restful nights, on the whole.
>
> Last Sunday, prior to our liturgy, I tested positive for COVID-19 using
> one of the rapid tests. Later that day, the staff nurse in my building took
> a PCR test, which a couple of days later confirmed that I was positive.
> There wasn't really any doubt.  I had about 24 hours of aches and pains all
> over me, followed by a couple of days with a very full chest that made my
> breathing very tight.  As the week has gone by, my breathing has cleared
> and I'm beginning to feel much better and more energetic.  Because I'm in a
> seniors' building, I am required to self-isolate for 10 days. As of today,
> I'm 6 days in. This has been particularly hard because it means I have not
> been able to visit Mary Lou in the hospital.  We have talked each day,
> including sometimes on video calls, but we miss each other.
>
> Today, Friday Dec. 2, is our wedding anniversary, our 55th anniversary.
> This is not how we would have anticipated spending our time on this day.
> No party, no dinner at The Keg.  And today was also the day when our
> regional Health Care Coordinator visited Mary Lou in hospital, in the
> company of our two daughters, Mary Beth and Lesley, to discuss Long Term
> Care.  When Mary Lou is discharged from hospital, possibly in a week, or a
> bit more, she will be essentially bed-bound, and will need a lift,
> manipulated by two people, to get out of or into bed, etc.  The family and
> I feel we have little choice but to support the idea of applying for Long
> Term Care (LTC), and possibly for some interim care placement for Mary Lou
> until LTC comes available.  Today, Mary Lou signed the LTC application, and
> we are, with great sadness, supporting her in this decision.
>
> Mary Lou has been changed hospital rooms a couple of times but is now in
> the Cardinal Carter wing at St. Mike's, 14th floor, room 38. Visitors are
> welcome. Enter the hospital by the Queen Street entrance, follow the blue
> line on the floor until the South Elevators, then up to the 14th.
>
> There is still much to endure.  Please hold us in your hearts and your
> prayers.
>
> Best wishes,
> Brian
>
>
> *Brian J. Halferty*
> 146 Sumach Street, Apt. 214
> Toronto, ON  M5A 0P7
> 416-431-0038
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