[Sundaycommunity] Fwd: A letter to Mrs. Harris

[Catherine Walther]

Enjoy! Catherine

>
> 
> After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to the
> local grocery store. Unfortunately, like most men; I found shopping boring
> and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like
> most women - she loves to browse. Yesterday my dear wife received the
> following letter, from the local store manager:
> Dear Mrs. Harris:
> Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion, in
> our store.
> We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to, ban both of you
> from the store.
> Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Harris, are listed below and are
> documented by our video surveillance cameras:
> 1. June 15: He took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other
> people's carts when they weren't looking.
> 2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute
> intervals.
> 3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the
> women's restroom.
> 4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice,
> 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away'. This caused the employee to
> leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that
> in turn resulted with a union grievance, causing management to lose time
> and costing the company money. We don't have a Code 3.
> 5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&Ms on
> layaway.
> 6. August 14: Moved a, 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
> 7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the
> children shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and
> blankets from the bedding department to which twenty children obliged.
> 8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying
> and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?' EMTs were called.
> 9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a
> mirror while he picked his nose.
> 10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked
> the clerk where the antidepressants were.
> 11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while, loudly humming
> the, 'Mission Impossible' theme.
> 12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his, 'Madonna Look'
> using different sizes of funnels.
> 13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through,
> yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'
> 14. October 22: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he
> assumed a fetal position and screamed;
> 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'
> 15. Took a box of condoms to the checkout clerk and asked where is the
> fitting room?
> And last, but not least:
> 16. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile;
> then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here.' One of the
> clerks passed out.
> *Ursula, IBVM*
> *urspenguin60 at gmail.com <urspenguin60 at gmail.com>*
>
>
>
>
>
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-- 

*May you walk in joy as love calls us on.*
-- 

*May you walk in joy as love calls us on.*
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