[Sundaycommunity] !!!!!!!!!!!Mary Lou!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wed Jan 11 22:51:02 PST 2023

Dear Brian,
I have seen Mary Lou.  She is a GOOOD Lady.  I went down the day following your asking for people to see her.  I hope for both of you.  She and you are GOOD People.  With her, I was able to have a visit with out all of the "fufforie" that we "SOMETIMES" have at the regular Mass.  (Although now, it is also limited by  having it on the "ZOOM" - as I cannot always do it all that well, but I digress!!!)  
WE had  REAL VISIT!!!!!!!  We spoke about MANY things.  Please don't give up hope for your relationship - she is fighting, with tooth and NAIL - and she WILL succeed.  (Not as "MOST" of us would like, but she will succeed.  She has GOD on her side.)

It must be very hard for you, knowing you.  You, as a pair have had quite a time, with all of your kids, all of the problems and the GOOD TIMES !!! as well!!  REVEL in IT!!!!!!!!  Please be happy that you have had, with all of your (Mary Lou and Yours) talents as well - a good life.  Something that I AM very much in AWE of!!!!!!!!!!!!! 
IT must be very hard, seeing her.  WE had a good visit!!!!!!!!!!!,
Love,
Mary LouKeeper of the Flame 

     On Wednesday, January 4, 2023 at 10:58:45 p.m. EST, Bill Wright via Sundaycommunity <sundaycommunity at lists.integralshift.ca> wrote:  

Hi Brian, and our thoughts and prayers are with you and Mary Lou.   We want to say thk you very much for wrapping your warm musical arms around us all these years.  And lifting our spirits with your inspiring music.  (Julia was one of those sometime vocalists to help you in your efforts.)  But now you need to turn your attention to the evolving situation with Mary Lou.  Where Mary Lou is, she/they need you and your music.  Pls be confident in knowing we support you with all our heart and prayers.
Thk you, Brian.
Bill and Julia.
c 416-708-6677

On Wed, Jan 4, 2023 at 10:33 PM Dave Snelgrove via Sundaycommunity <sundaycommunity at lists.integralshift.ca> wrote:

Brian, your message to the Community touches me deeply.  I am so sorry that this difficult transition, on many levels, has come upon you and Mary Lou.  It seems the pace of our aging is beyond our control, although we can have a little impact on this or that piece.  But the heart, the courage, the forbearance required seem to me to be the toughest part of life so far.
Of course I resonate with your decision to step away from leading the music. The time I was encouraged and then able to join you, Mario, and Michael,  was quite wonderful to me.  I loved every minute.  Just contributing a little bit was a gift.  I believe others may come forward.  But there's no doubt that your time provided a solid basis for the vibrant musical Worship that characterized the Sunday Community.  Bravo, Brian.  And MaryLou.  May the music live on.  And on.
Much love.  Rosemary

On Wed., Jan. 4, 2023, 8:27 p.m. Brian Halferty via Sundaycommunity, <sundaycommunity at lists.integralshift.ca> wrote:

Dear Members of the Sunday Community,
t has been quite a few yearssince Mary Lou and I, with our family, joined the Sunday Community, down in thebasement of the Catholic Information Centre, beside St. Peter’s Church, onBathurst Street in Toronto.  We thoughtof ourselves at the time as being, in a way, “on pilgrimage” – looking for aworshipping community that was a real community.  We had been searching for a long time. Wefound it when we arrived at the CIC. Monique Newton, one of the earliest and most central members of thecommunity, spoke to us immediately, and welcomed us, and made us feel athome.  In those days, there were stillfamilies, with their children, who were part of the community.  We were so impressed when a phone call cameto our house during the week after we first joined the community, a phone callnot for Mary Lou or I, but for our kids – someone inviting them to come andjoin the other young people for a movie later in the week.

We participated in the SundayEucharist with the community for a couple of years, I think, before I joinedthe other musicians in the music ministry. What a group! We had 4 guitarists,led by Heather, Mike on keyboard, occasionally Mike’s brother David on trumpet,a flute player, 2 or 3 additional vocalists, and for awhile a tambourine playeras well.  Over the years, people movedout of town to other places, or their lives took different turns, and the“band” dwindled in size, until it got down to just myself on guitar and Mike onthe keyboard.  Even then, for specialoccasions like Christmas or Easter, we were able to pull together some of theold gang to do music together. What fun!
COVID-19, of course, put us inthis very strange situation of having to stay apart while trying to continue togather together.  Our gathering togetherhas been on Zoom – we’ve been doing it now for more than 2 ½ years --- and wehave not been able to enjoy the reality of singing together in the sameplace.  Still, there has been a strong,spiritual linkage that has continued, something of value to us all.
Mary Lou and I both worked as layChaplains in Catholic high schools in Toronto, a position of spiritualleadership in which we each tried to do our best to answer to the spiritualneeds of students and their families, and of the staff as well. I have describedthis to people as “the best job I ever had,” a job that was demanding, anddifficult in many ways, and sometimes a source of anguish, but at the sametime, a role in which I felt called, and blessed, and in which I oftenexperienced success and satisfaction. Underlying this work of Chaplaincy, for both Mary Lou and I, was theneed to be connected to a source of spiritual inspiration and support forourselves personally.  And we found that source,that spring of fresh water, in the Sunday Community, where we felt realcommunity with others, with God, with the Church. 

In recent weeks, as you know, MaryLou has not been well, has not been in a good place physically andmentally.  She has been hospitalizedsince November 24th, and since Dec. 14th has been atProvidence Health Care in an “Interim placement” situation, receiving carewhile waiting for a Long-Term Care placement to be approved.  Those of you who have been part of the SundayZoom liturgy will know that Mary Lou has, with help, been able to join the Zoomcall from hospital on recent occasions, including Christmas Eve, when I spentthe day and evening with her.

In order to be with Mary Lou onChristmas Eve, I had to step away from leading the music that night. And now Ihave to tell you that, after a lot of thought, and after talking this over atlength with my family, I will have to step away completely from organizing andleading the music, at least for the next while. 

Being in a hospital, away fromhome and familiar surroundings, is very difficult for Mary Lou.  The family and I are committed to trying tobe with her as much as possible through all of this.  That includes me, and especially me, becauseit is me that Mary Lou most wants to have with her.  Mary Lou will not be coming home again tolive. She requires too much care and needs to be in a place where that can beprovided.  I can’t explain to you what adeep heartache this is. It is a painful tragedy all the way around. I am sograteful for the generous and loving support our family – children, spouses,their children – have given to Mary Lou through this awful transition, and havegiven to me also as I learn to live with what is happening.

I am also concerned about theSunday Community. I know that the music is an important part of our worship,and indeed, an important part of my own spiritual and prayer life. I feel badlyabout having to stop providing it. May we find the way(s) to continueworshipping together and being sources of inspiration for each other.

Love to all of you,

Brian

PS: Since I started putting thisletter together, Sylvia Skrepichuk has been in touch with me. She has offeredto lead the music for the next couple of months, at least, and I have agreed toassist her by continuing to send out the weekly Song Programs.  

Thank you, Sylvia.

B.  

Brian J. Halferty
146 Sumach Street, Apt. 214
Toronto, ON  M5A 0P7
416-431-0038 
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